No Time to Think

We’re coming up on Memorial Day weekend and my initial thought was to look back at this year and reflect where all the time has gone, but frankly, I don’t have the time!  This year has moved at flux capacitor speed, or at the speed of my new car which is incredibly fun to drive but I digress.

Last year my horoscope/numerology said, “2016 kinda sucks.  Don’t get attached to anything cuz it isn’t staying.  2016 is about closing chapters and taking time for yourself, preparing you for the future…because 2017 is going to be crazy!”

Then I read a book that said, “You have to prepare yourself for the things you want to happen for that is when they CAN happen.  So, I spent the entire Thanksgiving break painting, repairing and fixing everything in my house so that I could leave at a moment’s notice.  I prepped my realtor and  I contacted a friend who was now a career coach and started to prepare myself for a new job once I got to the new city.

Naturally, because I am an extremely patient person, I expected everything to happen on January 1st because it was now 2017 and I threw a big party to send of 2016, and we need to get this show on the road.  Instead, something else happened, my grandma entered the hospital and my uncle entered hospice both before Jan 5th.  My year was definitely off to a start, although not the one I was expecting.  My uncle died on January 9th and I left for home, which made everything seem real.  I’ve decided that as hard as it is to be away, you have the luxury of compartmentalizing your emotions.  However when you are forced to face those emotions, they burst through like a mighty river.  Thankfully my Grandma recovered (as much as a 93-year-old can when a child dies) but she is able to be in assisted living and I am thankful for that.

My emotional haze lasted until about mid February.  One Saturday I came down to RVA for my friend’s birthday party.  On the way my Dad called me in the car and casually asked if I was going to look at apartments.  I said I looked at a building I liked online and figured I would come down another time because I wasn’t really ready yet.  I hung up and thought about it for a few minutes.  Then I called the apartment and made an appointment that day.  I liked the building and the location and the price.  With no intention of signing a lease the agent said, “If you sign the lease today, we’ll give you one month free rent.” SOLD.  I need a pen!

When I got home I called my Realtor.  We listed my house for rent Monday morning and it rented by Monday afternoon!  Perfect rental history..woohoo! They keep a clean house…woohoo!  They need to move in two weeks..wooh..WHAT!?!  That’s what a u-haul and friends are for!

Right away I started getting asked whether I was going to start looking for jobs or give myself time to get settled.  Like an idiot I said,” Oh, I’ll wait until I’m settled.”  Im pretty sure I got called for 2 jobs before I even had the truck loaded.  After a little over a month of interviewing I had a new job, but not just a new job…the job I had been asking for!  I almost doubled my money AND I have the ability to earn travel points so I can essentially take vacations for free now which is my lifelong goal, as anyone who knows me would know.  I’m thinking England later this year and maybe Mexico next year but we’ll have to see where the wind takes me.

So all of that brings me here to May 25th.  I’m chronically tired now but I’m off to WV and Austin so there is no rest when you’re getting everything you want.  Plus, its only May and I have more goals to achieve now.  I’ll let you know when I get those accomplished.

 

Toodles,

~E

Life is a Numbers Game

​Does everyone know that NASA changed the astrological signs?  Well actually they ‘corrected’ the Zodiac because someone once upon a time decided to delete Ophiuchus.  That was rude but’Phiuc Ophiuchus!’  If its not broke, don’t fix it!

People don’t just go from being a Type A Scorpio to a laid back Libra (you know who you are) because someone in NASA’s math department decided to make a name for themselves! In some ways I feel bad for Ophie.  He’s that annoying 13th wheel that no one really wants around because he’s awkward and makes the other signs uncomfortable.  And seriously, I am just not an Aries!  I am a textbook Taurus.  #taurusunite

How are you feeling with this information?  Anger? Saddness?  A sense of loss?  If so then have no fear, I have the solution for you: numerology.

I was first introduced to numerology in college when Montel did a show about Glynis and her numbers.  I had no idea what her last name was but I bought her book immediately.  I have an unhealthy need to have things add up so I was immediately drawn to the use of a calculator to figure out life complexities.  Perhaps I should have been an accountant but, boring, so instead I run other peoples birthdays for fun! Get ready to bust out your calculator for the low down on numerology.

Remember the Pythagorean Number System from Alegbra?  No? Well that’s ok it just illustrates that numerology started a long time ago.  Once you get to the segment of numerology where letters and numbers correspond? the system comes in handy but that is down the line.

Numerology is based on the idea that that every number, or set of numbers, can be added together, then broken down to a single digit.

Life Path Number 

The most influential number is your Life Path Number and that is calculated using your birth day:

7/15/ 1992 

7+1+5+1+9+9+2=34

3+4 =7 

So 7 is this person’s life path number.  My life path number is 4. (Do a Google search, I’m not explaining what every number means)

Now once you have your personal number you will undoubtedly start calculating the life path numbers of everyone you know.  Then you will wonder how the numbers correspond. Good question!  Certain numbers are natural matches, while others present a challenge.  Here is the chart!

Now I wasn’t sure about all this until I checked my two best friends:  2 and 8!  Interesting.  

After checking every single person I know I discovered that, holy crap, I have a TON of friends who are 9s.  Like a TON!  So just because you’re a challenge number doesn’t mean you can’t be friends or in a relationship, it usually means some communication is different or you see the world differently. 

My second favorite number is the house vibration.  After checking the house numbers of places I’ve lived, all of the results were spot on!  I grew up in a 3 house which means always lively and creative, never a dull moment.  Riotous laughter or fighting, no inbetween.  My times in a 1 and 4 house have been focused on self ddevelopment, just like the number said.

Never again will I live in a 5 house or date a 5 person.  Or a 1 person for that matter…. 6s are on the cusp…Not to hurt the feelings of 1s or 5s but we’re conflict numbers in relationships and personal experience has proven that…a few times.

Hooked yet?

Sorry, I must end tonight’s session.  Maybe we’ll have numerology round 2 but for now I’m sure you have some googling to do!

Happy Obsession!

~E

The Birthday Story 

For months, as I drifted off to sleep, I would envision what my 30th Birthday celebration would be like.  It was always magical and perfect.  I would get to the hotel and lounge by the pool, soaking in the Vegas sun!  After we had enough of the sun everyone would go back to their rooms for a nap and dinner prep.  Dinner would be at Mesa Grille (I was in a Bobby Flay Netflix phase) where I would look ravishingly beautiful like I was on an Airline commercial and I would toast my beautiful family with champagne while blowing out the candles of my birthday cake.  We would cap the night off with the Bellagio fountain show.  Everything was very Norman Rockwell meets Sex and the City fabulous.

I should’ve know that doesn’t happen in Callen Land.

Things started off promising.  After taking a flight with layovers (for an unknown reason) I got to Vegas relatively well rested.  Waiting at baggage claim was a man in a Tuxedo with my name on a sign (like the movies). When we pulled up to the black escalade my Dad popped out of the passenger side to surprise me with a bottle of champagne (such a good Dad!).  He missed my birth so he felt the need to go big for 30 and I thoroughly appreciated it!!

Next step was the pool.  When I got there my mom and sister were already sipping their big gulps of vodka so I decided no time like the present to join.

This is where the trouble began.  See it was about 96 degrees by the pool and I was feeling a tad dehydrated from the flight.  After my first big gulp I ordered another from Rachel the bikini waitress (it is Vegas) and then I glided into the pool.

What happened next is a bit fuzzy.  Somehow over the next two hours I enjoyed some more beverages and made friends from Chicago who invited us to the Chippendales show which at the time sounded like the greatest idea ever. 

The next thing I clearly remember is being awoken by the sound of my Dad banging on my hotel door. 

We had 30 minutes before dinner ….crap.

He came armed with a triple shot Latte, pushed me towards the shower and threw a dress in my direction.  It’s possible I tried to curl my hair but there was little evidence of that.  I managed to throw on mascara, a miracle in itself.

When we got to my sister’s door, the scene was familiar only worse.  If you’ve never seen a 26 year old curled up in the fetal position wearing a sequent party dress while her mother yelled, “Get Up!  Enough of this.  Get Up.  Drink your coffee,” then you haven’t laughed.  This night was going down the tubes and fast! 

Amazingly we rallied and made it out the door and into the Uber with seconds to spare.  Dinner was quiet to say the least.  I ordered water and a second bread basket.  As dinner was coming to an end my mom shot up from the table, “We have to go to Chippendales.  I already paid and it doesn’t start at 10 it starts at 8:30!”

This, ladies and gentleman, is exactly why you don’t purchase tickets while intoxicated at the pool.

Before I knew it I was running after my mom like a scene from Rat Race yelling, “Why are we doing this?? I don’t even want to do this!  My shoes aren’t made for this!!” 

“You’re late” grunted the oversized bouncer, “sit in the back!” 

That’s where I wanted to sit anyway man.  Lose the attitude.  You work security at Chippendales.  

All I have to say about the show is that some dancers are better than others and some need more practice!  

When the curtain closed, I B-lined for the UBER.  Some might say, “Poor Phil Callen.” Meh.  He spent his night leisurely sipping whiskey in the sports betting arena, infinitely better already.  

I was bummed that we missed dessert but to my delight there was a piece of cake waiting for me when we got back.  I didn’t have a fork or a candle but I figured eating a four layer cake with my bare hands matched the evening, so I went with it.  
The End.   My Family is THE best!

~E

PS We went to a better dinner the next night and Dad and I went zip lining!

Emotional Vampires

I’ve had a lot of questions lately such as:

“Where’s your blog?”

“Why haven’t you written?”

I’d apologize but I’m not sorry.  I was visited by vampires.  Thats right, emotional vampires.  Not just one, multiple!  Emotional vampires were thirsty for my delectable A negative juice and there was nothing I could do.  I was drained and exhausted, to say the least.  By the time July hit I threw a bon voyage party to early 2016 in my kitchen.

Pop the cork, there she goes.

Peace out, homie.

 See ya, wouldn’t want to be ya!! 

An ’emotional vampire’ is any situation, person or event that sucks your precious life energy out of your veins, spits it on the floor and does a little jig.  In the short span of 5 months, I was visited by more emotional vampires than I have been in the last 5 years.  

The crescendo hit in June during what I affectionately refer to as ‘the dark week.’ The rain pelted the windows on my already dimly lit living room and I spent every evening sporadically sobbing while clutching a wine bottle, binge watching Canadian TV on Netflix.

I was ready for 2017 in a bad way but as you do in life, I rallied.  Im happy to say I feel more like myself now than I have in years.  Sometimes all it takes is serious ME time.  When you neglect yourself life makes a joke no one thinks is funny (enter vampire).  In fact I’m happy to say that I’m back at the gym for ‘Operation Get My Glow Back’ and I started my Masters Degree in Business.

You may ask yourself, why hasn’t she written anything?  Well, I’ve been selfish.  All my emotions, thoughts and feelings needed to be kept in the vault (except for my therapist of course).  Vampires can bleed you dry so sometimes you have to preserve yourself to stave off evil spirits…and add garlic to everything.  

Writing uses my creativity and I had none to give.  It’s my only excuse, but this short writing experiement was kinda fun so maybe I’ll be back in no time.

~E

  

29 and 354 Days

At this point it seems the slide into 30 is inevitable.  Not that it could have been prevented but it’s difficult to deny the inevitable at this stage of the game.  As I do around every birthday or milestone I took a step back to evaluate things and and see if I could figure out where my life is headed.

First, life headed to the kitchen to get the wine opener and a glass.  That’s as far as life got because basically I have absolutely no idea where my life is going.  At 30 my parents were starting a business and contemplating raising small humans.  Meanwhile I’m laying here contemplating needing a maid service for myself and buying a pet goat so I never have to worry about yard maintenance again.

I’ve also discovered that 30 is the age where you can no longer get drunk and sleep on the ground.  I’m stuck in bed with a sore back, neck, side (aka  everything).  I just took three Advil and rehearsed for my future “Help! I’ve Fallen and I Can’t Get Up” infomercial empire.  Thirty is proving to be quite glamorous already.

What I do know is that I have THE best friends in the whole world.  And THE awesome-ist family, hands down.  For everything else I intend on figuring life out once I wake up from my nap and my hip stops hurting.  I’ve got a week and a half of 20-dom left so maybe I’ll have it all figured out by then.  If not, my therapist is on speed dial.

~E

P*#% Off Winter

There is a moment as one season is ending and another begins where you can step out of your front door and actually smell the difference.  No, it’s not hot garbage, it’s simply a smell or a feeling that something is in the air, seasons are changing and new days are coming. 

A few weeks ago as I stepped out of my door I could see it, smell it and taste it.  Spring was here!  Hallelujah!!

Well, Spring, you’re a big fat liar!  As I sit, trapped in my vehicle enduring a frozen torrential hurricane, my patience is wearing thin.  The heat is pumping out of the vents, making my skin dry, the windshield wipers are cranking to max capacity and the gage on my dashboard says 50 degrees, although I feel like 50 degrees is hopelessly optimistic.  Utterly defeated, I check my phone for the weekly forcast of doom.

Saturday: High of 45 degrees/wintery mix

What!?! 

Excuse me but I have things to do outside.  I have Spring things to do, ok Winter? Spring is a season, in case you forgot.  You have bullied it into Summer and that is not alright.  I have a lawn to mow, deck to stain and beer to drink.  What I do not have is time for is WINTER!  You, winter, have become a toxic relationship.  Get out of my face!  You have already ruined one concert, a multitude of travel plans and my mood!  You’re finished and we are done.

If you need to find me I’ll be checking my ipad for the nearest destination with good weather.  Please feel free to join me. 

Reason #34,598 why I need to move to a tropical island. 

Thank You,

~E

My Priority List

Whenever someone asks me “What are your priorities?” “What do you NEED to do?” I immediately get overwhelmed.  I NEED to do everything.  I need a list, I need a calendar and I need to get it done.  I am not a fan of the word ‘priorities’ or questions about them.  People get very judgemental about where THEY think YOUR priorities should be.  The rebel inside me wants to be able to do anything I want, whenever I want, in whatever order I want!!  Nobody puts baby in a corner!  But life doesn’t work that way. 

I am a firm believer we all need to learn lessons from time to time.  This year my lesson has been about priorities.  The first priority was myself.  I was going through life believing that I was putting myself first and that my overall health and well being was at the top of the list.  Turns out that wasn’t that case.  My priorities were my relationship, dieting and going out with friends but what I wasn’t working on was me. 

One day while attempting to declutter my life I came across a workbook that my life coach had given me titled “The 15 Minute Miracle.”  It is a worksheet that you fill out (with a handy dandy aid) and it helps you to let go of the frustrations and focus on the positive parts of live.  Essentially, without getting too confusing, it is a worksheet on faith and how to find it. 

When I opened the first page I saw myself 5 years ago.  I read through what I had written and my hopes, dreams, frustrations and resentment.  When I was done I realized I was once again that girl from 5 years ago.  So much had changed in 5 years but then again so much had stayed the same.  I was feeling a little lost and in need of some direction, just as I needed now.  So, I restarted the worksheets and never looked back. 

While I missed all of you these past two months, what I really needed was to be selfish and focus my energy, time and thoughts on myself.  And I am very glad I did because it’s amazing what a little time can do.

When you do the 15 Minute Miracle at the end of every day you’re asked “What will you do for yourself today?”, followed by, “What will you do for others today?”  That is my favorite part because when you treat yourself it reminds you to treat others.  Good feelings all around!  Today, I wrote this post for myself and for others who may need help refocusing their lives.  You can do so much more for others by being the best person you can be. 

If you grabbed a piece of paper right now and prioritized all the things you have to do today, would you be on that list?  Find the answer.

Till next time,

~E

If The Pants Fit, Buy ‘Em

Happy Valentines Day Everyone!

Hopefully you all had a good valentines day full of self appreciation and love, regardless of relationship status.  Wine and Hallmark channel were my go to Valentines Day dates for many years and they served me well. 

This Valentines Day, after by boyfriend left for home, I decided to treat myself to some pampering at the nail salon.  It’s been almost 2 years since I had a manicure so why not!  I even threw in a sparkly nail for kicks.

image

After nails it was off to Kohl’s to make my yearly jeans purchase.  To my delight I am down a jean size!! Woo hoo finally some affirmation from something other than the scale.  I was beginning to question my sanity!  Sometimes the mirror plays tricks on the eyes you know.

When choosing jeans I made sure to pick the same Jean brand and several styles to make sure it wasn’t just wishful thinking.  The key to measuring via clothes is to try on the same brand.  I can wear about 4 sizes in dress pants so trust me, I know it’s frustrating when you are an 8 in one pair and a 12 in the other.  Stick with some consistency! 

My quest to eat healthy and do yoga paid off well so I have started a 10,000 step journey.  I have created a 30 day Challenge for myself of 10,000 steps a day.  It’s shocking how difficult that is.  Sitting in the car all day means I have a lot of walking to do when I get home.  If it would get warmer I could walk outside but then again maybe my house wouldn’t be as clean.  I have washed my kitchen floor more in the past 4 days than I have in the past year and I force myself to walk in place during “My 600 lb Life” because if they can do it, so can I!

Hopefully I can keep up this 10,000 steps/day and be even more empowered to keep going.  If anyone wants to join me, the more the merrier.  Catch you next time.

~E

Resolutions Month 2

For the most part January was a success.  It was my no means perfect but it was successful none the less.

Eating: In January my eating was vastly improved from the holiday schmorgesborg of food and alcohol.  The first three weeks were extremely empowering.  I didn’t ahnilate the bread basket on girls night.  I kept my wine nights to a minimum and I said adios to refined sugar.  I was on a roll.  However, something happened during the snow days that made me realize I needed to work on my mindset surrounding eating and not just on how strictly I could follow a diet plan. 

When the Jonas Brothers sent their blizzard last week I literally had the thought, “Blizzard=I Can Be Bad.”  Three minutes later I ate half a pizza, 10 organic oreos (the healthy kind) and 6 cheesy breadsticks.  By Sunday I was up to 3 dinners and 1 bottle of wine.  Apparently this means my brain really can just click on and off when it comes to food. 

After coming to this conclusion I decided that if my brain can click on and off so easily when it comes to food then maybe I can train it to do something better.  

One of the podcasts I listen to, the HeyFrase podcast, talked about Mindful Eating and I began to think that this might be the perfect compliment to my new attempt at yoga.  Mindful eating is based in meditation and awareness and teaches you to slow your eating process and focus on the present.  Perfection! Kindle: Downloaded.  I will fill you in as I go.

Exercise:  I’ve done yoga 27 of the past 30 days and it has really made a difference in my muscles and mind.  My goal for this month is to continue the yoga and add some kettlebell back into my routine.

All in all Month 1 was a success!  I hope to start Month 2 just as strong.  And no, no plans to weigh myself this month either.

~E

10 Things to Remember in a SnowMaggedon

Screenshot_2016-01-21-08-11-09-1

1. Find Your Gloves: This morning I went into my closet and a mitton fell on my head.  Basically someone was saying, “Hello idiot it’s going to snow, you need a mitton!”  If only that person would locate my matching mitton.  Why does that always happen??  No one wants just one!!  I digress.  In a storm it is imperative that you find your winter accessories such as your hats, gloves, mittons and snow scarves (the ones your grandma knit not the other kind) and put them in an easy to access location.  You need these things to clean off your car or get into a snowball fight.

2.  Make a grocery list:  Wine is not the only good group you will need.  Organize your list by breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Multiply your meals by estimated days in captivity and then again by the  number of people in prison.  Always remember to add 2 bottles of wine per person as a precaution.  No one wants to re-live the epic Chardonnay meltdown of 2012.

3.  Have Activities: Once upon a time there were these paper things called books and we read them before TV or radio came along.  Think about it, you will be stuck inside for hours and eventually you will be sick of TV or your eyes will give up.  It will happen.  Get a book or art project or board game.  You’d be surprised how old TV and napping can get.  I know, blasphemy.

4.  Locate your shovel:  This is key but sometimes you forget the obvious.  It’s happened to me.  I used a broom once.  Don’t do that.

5.  Buy Snow Boots:  It’s amazing to me that people actually wear sneakers.  This is a beyond terrible idea.  Don’t do it!

6.  Have a Vice:  TRUST ME!  Once I travelled 6 miles in a blizzard for coffee.  It was horrible.  It was really 6 blocks but that was horrible.  Coffee.  Diet Coke.  Whatever it is, go get it now.  Don’t complain to me when you start crying in a fit of insanity tomorrow around 11am Saturday morning! Go.  Now.

7.  Give the Diet a Break:  Blizzards are not the time to be mad at yourself about food.  You are bored, cold, tired and cranky.  Forcing yourself to be trapped in a house for days with snacks you can’t have is no good for anyone!  That’s horrendous.  Be mindful but also be nice to yourself and have some hot cocoa.

8. Shoveling is Cardio:  Last year some kids asked to shovel my sidewalk and I had to say, “Step off youngin, I’ve eaten 4 packs of oreos and need to work it off.” Rude? Maybe but my health comes first.

9.  Have Alone Time:  No one wants to be on the next installment of Making a Murderer so do yourself a favor and escape if you can.  Lock the door and dissappear for 20 minutes.  Too much togetherness=agitation=murder.

10. DON’T FORGET THE WINE!  or water is ok too.

Well, hope these tips were helpful.  Enjoy the Snow!!

I’ll be here, obviously.
~E

Any and all comments can be directed to the Jonas Brothers as they are running the show.